We Are In This Together

I was planning on posting today, and was going to talk about depression.  My former brother in law once told me that Winston Churchill used to call his depression the "Black Dog," as in he was fighting the black dog.  Pretty close, I have always called mine the black demon.  It hits me and starts taking over these days due to frustrations.  Every time I find I can't do something, or figure something out, I let it bounce around in my mind until I get to feeling really down about it.

Yesterday, it was because my husband forgets, or just can't grasp, that I can only focus on one thing at a time.  I was talking on the phone with my sister and he started asking me questions about my computer. First of all, I find that rude, but understand that he was frustrated as he was trying to accomplish a task that he couldn't do on his old dinosaur of a computer.  I told him to just click on the option to the right, but he kept trying to clarify it, which confused me and meant I had to stop talking to my sister and move to a different room and literally show him where the box was.  I think it is a man vs. woman thing.  Of course, by then I was totally frustrated and annoyed and lashed out.  Then we went to the grocery store and I got confused with the checkout process which I know should be a simple thing and was something I used to do without even having to think about it.  For some reason, trying to remember the coupons and figuring out how much I needed to pay totally confused me.  After getting home and struggling to find a place to store everything, I ended up spiraling down into a deep funk.  Later, my husband found me curled up in a semi-fetal position on my bed.  He came in, encouraging me to come out to eat some dinner since I hadn't eaten all day.  When I balked at it, saying I just couldn't do it,  he sat down next to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "remember, we are in this together you are never alone in this." Wow!  Simple words that made all the difference in the world to me.

Today I watched a video on Facebook made by a gentleman, appearing to be about my age (early 60's). He was talking about a similar issue for him.  He had to keep reminding himself that he was not the only one being affected by his dementia, that it was a huge burden on his wife as well.

That made me realize that the focus of this post should be more positive than talking about depression.  It's about allowing someone else to help and realizing that the other person, your caregiver or partner, is feeling the frustration right along with you.  Plus, the good news is, there is nothing we can't do together.  We've been doing it for 42 years now, and he's not about to give up on me!  Got to love this man!