We Are Someone, Not Just Someone With FTD

Last week, things had calmed down just enough in  my life that I was able to pay more attention to all the others out there with FTD. I don't know if it was just my perception, but it seemed there were a lot  more complaints about rifts between the person with FTD and their caregiver. This was coming from both sides of the equation. Since I was also having more and more issues with this same problem, I decided to do some research to perhaps come up with some suggestions on how to deal with this issue and to try to translate between those with FTD and their caregivers. 

I did a Google search on "FTD caregiver versus patient,"  "FTD caring for loved one" and several other variations. I was greatly saddened, that the only two things that came up that fit the criteria were my blog entry from November 18, 2017, "We Don't Do It on Purpose, Truly!"  The second one was the publication I put together, "Coping with FTD".  Link for that is https://www.theaftd.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Coping-With-FTD.pdf  Maybe I should have felt proud that the only two from the FTD point of view were mine, but all I felt was sad.

Truly, that is all I came up with, everything else was slanted toward the caregiver. I readily admit that caring for someone with FTD can be a constant challenge and a difficult road to haul. What needs to be remembered though is that having FTD is just as difficult.

Most of us with FTD start out with no one believing there is anything wrong with us. Almost all of us go through several attempts at finding a doctor who knows enough about FTD to diagnose the disease. At least for me, the diagnosis was a relief... "See there really is something wrong with me?"  Isn't there a joke about that being carved in someone's tombstone? Then, reality hits. " Not only is this no treatment or cure for this disease, but it is going to kill me!"

Having this disease is a constant battle for the person diagnosed. Often depression hits, making us come across as angry. I like to say "Wouldn't you be horribly depressed and angry if you had FTD? Fortunately, depression can be addressed. First, though, it is often the caregiver who has to realize that depression is part of the problem. It can make many of the symptoms of FTD become worse... the anger, the withdrawal, the disinterest in most everything and the overall sadness. The anger can even worsen aggression, though that can be a separate symptom of FTD as well and should not be ignored. 

Depression can be successfully treated and most aggression can be as well. You can schedule a visit to the neurologist or psychiatrist who diagnosed the FTD, or even their family doctor. They are all trained to treat depression. My primary care doctor treats my depression which save me a lot of trouble and the expense of seeing a specialist. It may take some trial and error to come up with the right drug or the right combination to ease the depression and the difficulty of its symptoms. These are not symptoms to be treated as the "s/he is just mean" or "s/he just won't do anything."

Any new symptoms, whether physical or emotional, should be addressed with a doctor. The doctor should also be at least familiar with FTD, if not an expert. While there is no treatment for FTD, there are treatments for its symptoms.

The biggest issue with FTD can be the relationship between the one with FTD and the caregiver. Usually, the caregiver is a family member, most often the spouse. I beg of you.  Please remember this is someone you love, or loved, enough to marry. I understand the strain of being the caregiver. Finances often become a huge issue, the workload grows enormously, the energy involved in those as well as keeping the one with FTD safe all take their toll on the caregiver and on the relationship.

Everyone needs love in their life, even those with FTD. A loving relationship seems to make the FTD'ers life more secure. So, how do you do that? It's pretty darned difficult to maintain your loving relationship. It will probably never be like it was pre-FTD. I'm not suggesting that you need to continue your active sex life, if you had one.  On the other hand, if you still desire that, go for it! If not, remember hugs, kisses and saying "I love you." I'm sorry to say this, but if you find that you no longer love the one you are caring for, try to fake it, just a little at least. Just like a caregiver must sometimes tell little "fiblets" to get their cooperation, the little fiblet of still loving can make a lot of difference, even in the caregiver's state of mind.

Loving gestures provide more security and comfort than most anything else I can think of. Sometimes, those gestures may be rejected, but don't give up. When I am feeling tired, frustrated or angry at a circumstance, I reject all of them. I just cannot handle them. If someone touches me at a time like that, the touch, no matter how loving, my brain actually feels it as pain. If physical touching is not possible, a simple "I love you, we can talk about this as soon as you are able." Once I calm down, I often need to know I am still loved.

Do not assume that your loved one is not doing chores because they are lazy or just don't care. It is more likely that they cannot do them. If we try and it doesn't work for us, it leads to more frustration and we give up on trying. For example, if we are attempting something like folding the laundry, we have to remember how the finished product should look and try to remember how to arrive at that point. If we have folded it to the best of our ability (which is probably no where close to how you want it) and you say something like "You know the towels should be folded lengthwise first" it can be totally defeating. Most likely, we will have no interest in trying again.

Even if we accomplish something simple, like taking out the trash or bringing in the newspaper, it is good to thank us at least occasionally. When I say thanking us, I mean a deliberate, look them in the eye and say something like "Thank you, that helps me a lot." If I go through a day where I feel like I have accomplished absolutely nothing, I drop right back into that depressive mood. Everyone needs to know they are wanted and that they are able to contribute something to the world. I know I go through times when I think I am just wasting oxygen and couch space that someone else needs more.

It is so maddening to me when I hear or see a caregiver unfairly criticizing someone with FTD, saying the "won't" or "don't" or other negative words. The truth is more likely that they "can't" or the "don't remember how" or "don't understand" that needs to be done or done a different way."

When I see a caregiver treating their loved one like a child, I become furious! Yes, I understand that you need to address situations with the same process you would with a child. I have even explained that in a blog or two. You need to think of it that way. It does not, though, need to be done in a belittling fashion. Break down what you want to get across into tiny bits and use simpler words if necessary, but don't talk to them like you would a child or in a condescending manner. 

In the same vein, when you are out somewhere with your loved one, they might become confused, get in someone's way or in another way cause an awkward moment. Please don't say things like "Oh, he has dementia." or "Oh, please forgive her, she did that because of her dementia." We are people, we are not our disease. Address the incident as simply as possible. If someone is bumped by the cart the FTD'er is pushing, try something like "Oh, I am so sorry, we will get out of your way." To act flustered and upset with your loved one and keep asking "are you alright," "did he hurt you," can actually escalate things. The result may cause the FTD'er to feel embarrassed or that they are a bad person, worthless and should not even try to go anywhere. 

The only thing I think is worse than speaking to someone with FTD as you would a child or even a pet, is to not talk to them at all. Even those of us who lose our ability to speak need communication and a sense of belonging. There is nothing more hurtful than to lived "around" not lived with. In other words, forgetting that we still have things to contribute and our brains still work in some ways. By the way, did you know that studies have shown that FTD seems to affect those of higher intelligence? It is horribly defeating to realize that while you were a scientist/doctor/CEO/teacher/etc., you now instead have to wear diapers or need to be shown how to fold a freaking towel. 

Please remember the "one thing at a time rule" that I am always talking about. If you present more than one thing to me, or if you tell me only one thing but there are distractions around, I promise you that I will not understand a bit of what you are saying. I might say "okay" or something like that, but I do that to end the talking not to say I understand. This is something that has continued to worsen since diagnosis, at least for me. I am at a point now, that if someone does this, I enter a black hole. I literally see nothing but blackness that is spinning and hear nothing except possibly Charlie Brown speak, "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah." 

Sometimes, when you say something, a person with FTD may end up looking at you with a blank stare. Do not immediately think we are not listening. If you say a word I don't understand, I can't understand the entire statement because my brain is trying to figure out what that word is. For example, if you were to tell me, "I need a wrench, go downstairs and get one for me." If I freeze at the word "wrench" because I can't immediately remember what that is or looks like, I don't hear the rest of the sentence. The most intelligent answer I could hope to give if I do remember it is a tool, it's going to be "What about a wrench?" It's not because I didn't listen, it's because I couldn't listen past the word that stumped me.

The last thing that upsets me is being treated like an invalid. If I am walking fine with my cane, I don't need you to hold onto my other arm or hand. That actually makes things worse because I now have to worry about two things, using my cane correctly and balancing with you holding on to me. I cannot always walk the same straight line or the consistent pace that you are walking so that can throw me off as well. If you want to help, walk next to me so that I can take your arm if I start losing my balance or stumbling. It also helps if you walk a half step in front of me and never behind me. FTD has given me tunnel vision, as it can, so I cannot see you unless you are ahead of me.

I don't even pretend to speak for everyone with FTD or to every caregiver out there. We each have our own set of problems, whether the one with the disease or the person caring for them. There are probably difficulties that caregivers encounter that I have not even thought about. All the things I have mentioned may not develop the same way with everyone who has FTD, but I have tried to give examples that you can pull from.

What I ask is that we are treated with dignity, not put down, not ignored, not yelled at when we do something wrong and not belittled or told that we are stupid, worthless or a huge inconvenience. 

Caregivers cannot be perfect. No one can. They cannot help but lose their temper or get frustrated and end up yelling. It can't be helped when occasions occur such as, the caregiver may be struggling to figure out how to deal with something and keep getting interrupted by questions and complaints. Wait a minute? Do some of these things ring a bell? Yep! We are all in the same boat. We all get angry at the disease. We all get frustrated because our lives have been uprooted. We all yell from time to time. 

It is not probably not accurate to compare someone with the disease versus someone trying to care for that person. One is never easier than the other. A caregiver may hate to have to change their loved one's diaper/pull-ups. Guess what? The one with FTD hates that they have to wear them just as much. Both sides are beyond difficult, if that is possible, and sometimes seem impossible.


As I have mentioned numerous times, I am in the unique position of being a person with dementia and also acting as the caregiver for another with dementia. FTD caring for Alzheimer's. The only good thing about the situation that I can think about it is that when I am making mistakes as a caregiver, I recognize them and vice versa. I do make mistakes in both roles. The frustration of having FTD makes it even more difficult for me to remain calm as a caregiver. Fprtunately, his disease is progressing much more rapidly than my FTD which has become a blessing. I don't mean that in a negative way. I say it because I am still able to care for him but he is no longer able to care for me. I do hope it remains that way.




  

FTD Does Not Mean I Cannot Stand Up for Myself

I apologize for beating a dead horse, but dealing with my aunt and uncle's estate has continued to consume all my time and, even more importantly, my energy. I am strongly hoping that once the entire estate is settled late in August, that I will be able to set it aside and, while I will still be mourning, stop dwelling on it constantly.

A few years ago, my cousin died suddenly in a vehicle crash. My aunt, whom I was caring for due to her dementia, could  not stop mourning because she would forget and every day ask "Is Charlie dead?" Then she would start crying. Needless to say, it broke my heart every time. I know I have talked about her situation many times, so if I have done so in this blog, I apologize. I tell it again because this is often the case with FTD. This is why, when asked, I tell caregivers to follow their gut as to whether to tell an FTD'er about a death. If it someone local who they see often, I believe it is necessary to inform them and, if possible, include them in the funeral to make it real to them. On the other hand, if it is someone they rarely see, I most often suggest not telling them. If, later, they ask about the person, say something like "Oh, he has been so busy lately. I'm sure he will come visit when he can."  Like I said, follow the gut, since every case is different. Let no one else make you feel guilty whichever way you decide.

Now, I understand her circumstance much better. Nearly every day, I will think "I should just call Uncle Dick and ask him."  Sometimes this happens even while I am sorting through his things. I will think that I should call him and ask if I should keep something. I wish it could work that way. I am pretty sure that I have mentioned how he and my aunt stepped up when my father committed suicide about 25 years ago. He became my father figure, adviser and supporter. They both stepped up and became the best grandparents (and aunt and uncle) to my daughter.  This is part of why I loved them so much.

On the other hand, my dad's other brother, has been the opposite. He and his wife believed if they sent me a Christmas card, that was good enough. He called me this past week wanting something my aunt and uncle had that has huge sentimental value to me. The executor and I had actually split this (a set of china) in half which gave us each four place setting. The uncle was furious and wanted me to give him my half "because they should stay together or it will destroy their monetary value." Monetary value??? 

I wish that had been the end of it but then he said something like "You have dementia anyway, why should you have them?" I actually think his words might have been "health issues" but, of course, I heard "dementia." If you read my blog regularly, you can imagine how this went over with me. If he listened, he should have a much better understanding about FTD now, but I'm sure all he got out of it was that I was stubborn.  That's just fine with me. I may not get that annual Christmas card anymore, but I can live without it. It was always so sentimental anyway as it was usually signed "Fondly, Uncle xx and Aunt xx." 

I guess I should have known how much sentimentality they have.

My husband was listening to my side of the conversation and was afraid of how I might react. I was fine. I was extremely angry, but I was able to keep it under control. I was proud of myself that I had also kept it under control while talking to him. I only remember stuttering over a word one time. I spoke loudly, but was not shouting. I will admit to swearing at him one time. My husband, as I have talked about, has Alzheimer's Disease, but even he realized how hurt I was by all of this and tried his best to comfort me.

As a side note, my aunt and uncle had a statue of St. Francis in their garden. It had been carved with a chain saw out of a log. It is extremely heavy. It was placed in their garden using a small crane. This greedy uncle announced to the attorney (executor) that he wanted it. I had not considered taking it because of the difficulty they had moving it, plus knowing that when we leave this house, I would have to leave it behind. When the attorney told me the uncle wanted it, I could not stop laughing. He and my aunt live in a condo/apartment on an upper floor. I guess he wanted one more thing for the "monetary" value.

Meanwhile, I am sitting here typing, dressed in one of my uncle's favorite t-shirts that I rescued from the rag bag and a ball cap he had kept that was from the National Forest where my dad volunteered in the summers. I have been wearing his t-shirt for two weeks, ever since I brought it home. No, I haven't washed it. I do sniff it once in a while and it is still okay and I change shirts if I am going out. I guess somewhere in there, between my greedy uncle's lack of sentimentality and my own, there must be a happy medium. 

I still see the psychologist who has been helping me since my diagnosis, but only once a month now. I will tell you, she surely has been earning her money the past couple months. My next appointment isn't for 10 days, but if my greedy uncle or someone representing him calls again, I will be needing an emergency appointment.  While I am so proud of myself for the way I was able to handle the situation, I feel as though another one may not go as well.

In the meantime, going through a multitude of boxes containing things from their home, I struggle over what to keep, what to offer to other family members and what to toss. I try to think about whether my daughter will want them when I am gone, but it's really tough.  How do I get rid of the love letters my uncle wrote to my aunt when they were dating and getting ready to marry.  How do I get rid of all the pictures and notes to my aunt from her elementary school students? 

I have actually adopted a plan that I often recommend to others. I am saving the things that I know I must absolutely keep. I am also keeping the things I am not sure about. Those are being stored separately and my plan is to go through them again in six months, then in one year. If they survive those two additional purges, they are meant to be kept.  I have been doing that with things of my own that I tend to save. I make a pile, then go through it once a week. Usually, I end up asking myself why in the world I kept it.

On a similar note, in an effort to curb my impulse buying, which is usually online shopping since I avoid stores, I have taken a similar approach. I will bookmark it online, or leave it in the "cart." If catalog shopping, I mark the page. I then go back a couple days later to make sure I still want/need it. More often than not, I don't buy it. This has saved me a lot of money. It has also caused a lot of bewilderment as to why I thought I need this! I still do some impulse buying, but have been able to keep it at a minimum now.

So, bottom line is that I am feeling proud of myself for the way I handled this greedy uncle situation. I am proud of myself for the way I am sorting through all these boxes of "stuff" that no one else wanted to deal with. I must admit that finding those love letters is worth sorting through all of the rest and will never be thrown out, at least not by me. I know my daughter will preserve them as well.

I promised myself I would only go through two boxes a day. That is what I advise others to do, to keep it simple so that it does not become overwhelming.  No, I have not been successful in that, but do manage stop when I am totally exhausted. I finally admitted that I need to slow down the process and am not going near any of the boxes today. My back thanks me.

From all of this, I guess what I would pass on is to stand your ground. Just because we have FTD does not make us any less deserving. Even if FTD takes over and we start saying inappropriate things, the message is still in there somewhere. If someone can't sort through the cuss words and get the gist of what we are saying, they probably aren't worth our effort anyway.

On the other hand, to the caregivers, family members and friends, we have FTD but we are not deaf. If you are discussing things that involve us, thinking we can't hear, we do hear you. Secondly, if we are talking about something, please do not dismiss what we are saying. We just might have some words of wisdom in us.  Don't forget, "I have FTD, I don't have STUPID!" Hmm... perhaps this paragraph will lead into my next blog entry.

Loss of Executive Functioning Matters

One of the earliest things I learned about after being diagnosed with FTD was the "Loss of Executive Functioning." I had no idea what "executive function" was so I just brushed it aside. After all, I was not an executive. I did not have to make big decisions. I sure was wrong. The term is not self-explanatory when it relates to FTD. Perhaps we should change it to "can't figure out anything." It is important to realize that everything we do usually involves executive functioning.

This past week I learned, or rather relearned, a few things about dealing with FTD and executive functioning:

     I cannot do it all.

     I do not have to do it all.

     It is okay to ask for help.

     It is important to break down large tasks into tiny ones.

     Discussing decision-making issues with others lightens the load.

     My brother in law and sister love me a whole lot (okay, no executive functioning here)

I have been trying to get away from personal stories in my blog entries, but this past week was so full of examples of FTD that I cannot resist, so here goes. I was extremely close with my aunt and uncle who both passed away in the last few months. Last week, their attorney called me and told me she was planning on having an estate sale on the weekend. She suggested that I come up before Friday because she knew there were things that I would treasure.

Fortunately, my new brother in law loves me and agreed to miss a day's work and do the driving because I cannot. That was the only thing that was resolved quickly. The next few days became one of the best examples of loss of executive functioning that I have ever experienced. Deciding whether to rent a truck or a trailer was a two-day effort. I finally decided to rent the truck for more than $300. Meanwhile, my sister has a beast of an SUV, with a V8 engine and a towing package. Duh! I asked if we could just use that instead of a truck. After all, it would be a lot more comfortable and I rented a 6x12 box trailer for $40. 

One of the problems I have that also involves executive function is making financial decisions. I was going to waste $300 when the $40 solution had been right in front of me all along. I won't even talk about how long it took me to decide what time we should leave!

We arrived safely at our destination, a 2 1/2 hour drive, right on time. That was the end of calm until the trailer was packed and we headed home.  There were so many decisions for me to make on what to take and what to leave, that I developed a whopper of an FTD headache. I finally decided to look at everything with my heart, not my head. I ended up with a lot of little things that will continue to bring back memories that I will cherish forever. These things would have most likely sold for less than a quarter at the estate sale, but will be forever priceless to me.

After deciding what, I had to decide how. I needed to pack everything. Fortunately my brain did work a little and I had come prepared with boxes and bubble wrap. Once I finished packing, I realized the trailer was not even 1/4 loaded. The attorney's husband was there since he is doing the bulk of the work for the sale. I thought he was going to  help us load but I sure thought wrong. My poor brother in law lloaded the entire trailer himself. By the way, do you have any idea how much space a pair of elk antlers takes? At least they don't weigh much!

The three of us were totally exhausted. Because of this, we started snapping at each other and the drive home was just a tad tense. Okay, a lot tense, but we made it and we all still love each other. I should also say that I brought home a few small pieces of antique furniture and other things. My decision making was not so bad that all I brought back only a box full of trinkets!

So, what could I have done differently? Looking back, all the decisions should have been much easier. My usual way of coping with larger endeavors or complicated tasks is to start with a list of things I need to do and then break each item on that list into small tasks. This is a decision I often suggest to other with FTD, but failed to remember to do it myself. It never should have taken two days to decide the truck or trailer issue. If I had made a list of the advantages/disadvantages of each, I could have taken care of the entire transportation decision in an hour or two instead.

I also should have remembered that I don't have to do everything myself. If I had discussed the truck/trailer dilemma with my sister or brother in law, they would have helped me come up with her SUV and a trailer immediately. That is a lesson I struggle with. I hate to ask for help!  This is not a good thing for someone with FTD. Asking for help is a really good thing for someone with FTD. Now, if only I remember that the next time.

Actually, I finally did. I started going through all the stuff that was now occupying the entire empty side of our garage. The attorney had insisted I leave all the clothes that were in a small dresser so that I could try them on and keep them or donate them once I was home. I did that yesterday and found a huge stack of brand new, top name brand, items that still sported the tags and had never been worn. I immediately started to stress, knowing that the wise thing to do would be to see them on ebay or our local online sale site. I sat there for a few minutes, head in hand, feeling overwhelmed. I actually said to myself "You don't have to do it all!" I called a friend. I knew her son's wife had started selling things on ebay to make a little extra money for their family. I am giving the whole stack to her. She can sell them and I won't have to worry. I feel better about it anyway, knowing that they will benefit from it. 

If only I had remembered that I don't have to do it all BEFORE I insisted on bringing home thousands and thousands and thousands of slides and pictures. I volunteered to go through all of them, sort them and decide who would most likely want them the most. My FTD had better slow down because I figure it is already going to take me five years to finish! I knew that f I did not do it, all of them would have gone in the trash because no one else was willing.

Bottom line, to me, is that, yes, FTD sucks, but loss of executive functioning sucks as just as much!

 

 

FTD Stages and Some Rambling Thoughts

Lately, I have seen a large number of questions about the "stages" of FTD. This is a difficult question to answer since every case of FTD is so different from the next, but I was determined to address it. I pulled my file on the subject and searched for more in-depth info online so that I could pull it all together. There, I found a couple articles that explained it a much better than I could. So, instead of writing it, I am giving you two links to sites that I found that were interesting and explained it well: 

https://www.dementiaaide.com/blogs/tips-for-dementia/fronto-temporal-dementia-guide#stages

http://ftdcaregiving.org/documents/ProgressionFTD_CaregivingPerspective.pdf


Since I don't need to write more about that subject, I am left with some rambling thoughts.


 ⧫  I often talk about the AFTD (Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration)(website:  www.theaftd.org  or helpline at 866-507-7222). Their website was totally redesigned a few months ago so if you have not visited it lately, I suggest that you do. There is a ton of information available on there. You still have to go through many layers in order to see it all, but it is much easier to find your way through now.

The AFTD provides a lot of services for those of us with FTD. They have grants that assist not only those of us with FTD, but also the caregivers. They are also one of the best sources for information about FTD. I had the opportunity to contact them this past week when I realized that someone with FTD, whom I have come to consider a great friend, could probably best be helped by them. This person had already contacted a couple other organizations but was not able to receive help. I suggested calling the AFTD but then realized that with her communication difficulties, that it might be difficult for her to do. I sent an email to Matt Sharp who is their Program Manager and explained a little about her situation. The next morning, I contacted my friend and suggested she call Matt. Guess what! He had already called her and was in the process of helping her. 

The people at the AFTD all seem to me to be extremely dedicated to our cause of FTD and have always been willing to go out of their way when I have needed something. They are also the organization that hosts the annual FTD Education Conference. The conference will be held next May in Los Angeles so keep an eye out for more information on that. I encourage everyone to attend if you are able. 

 ⧫    On a similar note, if you have been diagnosed with FTD (or are a caregiver) there are quite a few support groups out there on the internet. The AFTD sponsors one that is for both. There is also an excellent support group that is for only those with FTD. It is a "secret" group, meaning that it is private, by invitation only and not accessible to anyone except those of us diagnosed. This also means you cannot search for it and find it which keeps it extremely private. If you have a confirmed diagnosis and are interested, you can email the primary administrator of the group at Sherylwhitman.FTD@gmail.com . There is another group called "Ask the FTD Patient" where you can ask questions and receive answers from FTD'ers based on their own experiences. Often times, they are the only ones who can answer a question. You can use Sheryl's email link to join that one as well. If you want more information but aren't sure you are ready to join, feel free to ask questions in the comments section below. You can always do that with any of my blogs.

 ⧫    A while back, I mentioned in a blog that I am experimenting with CBD oil. CBD oil is made from hemp and shares many of the attributes of medical marijuana. It is legal in most states. It contains nothing that can cause a marijuana "high" so it is supposed to be safe to use. I promised to report back on how it worked for me. I do not use it every day and I'll get into that in a bit. However, when I have one of those dreadful "FTD headaches" or when I am feeling more stressed than usual. I have been placing half a dropper full under my tongue or inside my cheek (0.5 ml). It does calm me enough to reduce my stress level. For the headaches, I would say that it takes "the edge" off. The headache is still there, but it eases it enough so that I can function without hiding in a dark quiet room. 

I must point out that a full recommended dose is 1 ml. I imagine that if I used that full dose, the result would be even better. Unfortunately, I experience some stomach pain when I use the oil. I also have the same issue with marijuana (Though it is illegal in my state so of course I have never tried it, just in case any law enforcement are reading!!!) My doctor suggests that I may have an allergy to it just as I do with most things, including a lot of plants. I gladly trade some stomach pains for some headache and stress relief though. I know of many other people who get even better results from it than I do. If you have access to medical marijuana or the real stuff, I understand that works much better.

I actually have an FTD headache today, so you can see that it does make it subside enough that I am still able to be writing this. Then again, it may be the headache that is making me ramble. 

If anyone reading this uses it for any other purposes, I would be most interested in hearing about it.

 ⧫    Another product I have been having good luck with is Lidocaine cream. I get the prescription strength of 2.5% and, of course, must have it prescribed by my doctor. I don't know how many others, if anyone, has this same experience, but my brain seems to get confused between pain, itching and just plain irritation. If I cut myself or burn myself, it can drive me to distraction by severe itching instead of pain. A bug bite that should itch may be felt as pain. Also, many times, areas of skin can just get irritated by many strange things. It can be from a clothing tag rubbing on it or rubbing on most anything, like the arm of the sofa. It can even be triggered by someone's touch on rare occassions. (Now that is just plain weird, I know.) I have found that if I apply the Lidocaine cream (works better than the gel) and cover it with a band-aid or even wrap plastic wrap to keep it from rubbing off, it dulls the feelings of pain or itch just as it is supposed to. I sometimes need to apply it two or three times. By dulling the feeling, my brain seems to be able to reset itself and will, most often, eliminate the feeling totally or at least making pain feel like pain and itch feel like itch. Please don't try it on severe cuts, burns or open wounds. 

As I said, these are just some little issues that I keep meaning to write about but are just not a big enough issue for an entire blog. I promise to get back to a real blog next week, as long as I don't have another FTD headache!