Mourn the Losses...

I found another source of information today at www.theaftd.org.  Most of the information I found  there is stuff I have learned elsewhere. Somehow, the bottom line always seems to be that not much is known about it.  So sad, but I'm not going there today.  They do, however, have a category of information called "I Have FTD" written from suggestions from people who have FTD, along with their family and friends.  

I found an interesting list of "Suggestions From People with FTD."  The first one that jumped out at me is "Mourn the Losses. Acknowledge the changes as you become unable to do as many things.  Express the sadness and then refocus on what you can still do."

What an interesting way to look at it!  Instead of just becoming totally frustrated at the things I can't do anymore, feel bad about  it, but don't dwell on it.  Focus on what I can still do.  Obviously, for me, one of the things I can still do is writing.  Verbal skills have slipped, especially when trying to talk or explain things to people outside my limited circle of trust.  That circle includes the few that actually understand the disease and I am totally comfortable that they are non-judgmental.  I trust these people to understand if I mess up my words or can't explain things, or do things that aren't "normal."  The written word is much easier, as I can easily substitute a different word when I can't think of the right word, or just sit here until I can think of it. There aren't really any do-overs when you are speaking like there are when writing.

There are things I have kept in my daily routine that have been there for years.  I have always done the crossword puzzle in the daily paper, as well as the Sudoku number puzzle.  It was always fairly mindless stuff I could do with my first cup of coffee in the morning.  I wish it was still mindless.  The crossword  puzzle is still easy for me since my word skills have not disappeared like my number skills have.  I struggle with the Sudoku almost every day, but am stubborn enough to keep at it.  I have gotten better at not letting it frustrate me when the puzzle defeats me, and this item on their list just reinforces this.  If I can't do it, so what?  It was still exercising my brain and I can  move on to the crossword for something easier to do.

I have really been mourning the loss of my ability to be artistic.  I can no longer paint or create ceramic arts the way I have always loved.  I just can't do the detail work these hobbies require.  It has been difficult to go from winning awards for my work to not being able to do it.  Doubtlessly, a lesson in humility!  I have mourned the loss of these abilities long enough, time to pack the regrets away in a box and put it up on the shelf.  There are still other things I can do well, and those are what I need to dwell on.  I will keep working on it!

I also thank God every day that I can still read.  My Nook and I seem to be permanently attached to each other!

There are a couple other thought-provoking things on their list that I think will help me, but I'll save those to share on another day.