Circle of Support

A couple more points on the I Have FTD list I referred to in my last post, deal with what I call "my circle of support" or "circle of trust." The list items are "Pick Your Battles" and "Address Changing Relationships."  Their points are that FTD and other dementias definitely change your interpersonal relationships and that not everyone in  your life will understand FTD.

I have found that many people don't understand me or what I am going through, and don't care to make an effort to find out.  People that I thought I could count on have disappointed me, but others who I never expected to help or understand have really surprised me in a good way.  I do not harbor any ill will against those who have disappointed me.  FTD is a difficult concept to comprehend, especially when most people automatically think "Alzheimers" when they hear "dementia."  I can tell you what I had for breakfast.  I can tell you where I do my grocery shopping.  On a good day, I can probably even tell you how you can find it.  Just don't ask me to get myself there... I would most likely get lost... might even step in front of a moving car in the parking lot.  I would probably remember what I was there to buy... but I would have trouble figuring out how much money I needed to pay for it.  The things my dementia have stolen from me are not things that are easy to see or understand.

Other people in my life have actually taken the time and made the effort to learn about FTD or shown an interest and learned about it from me.  I have a Facebook friend.  We became "friends" because we were playing the same game and had connected through other friends to assist each other in the game.  We have never met in person (but we will some day) as we live several states apart, but through one of those miracles of social networking, I count her as a "real" friend, and a close one at that.  She is one who has stepped forward and asked the right questions and has learned a bit about FTD and has expressed concern many times.  When she hasn't "seen" me online for a few days, she will message me and ask what's wrong.  Of course I do the same with her. Today, she asked for the link to this blog so that she could understand even more.  That simple act made me happier than she can ever imagine.  Another person who has stepped up for me is someone that I had a client relationship with when I was still able to work.  I don't remember if I have mentioned that I was working in the accounting field, but this person was one of our clients.  He has been so supportive of me and we now have a totally different relationship.  A hug from him on a bad day can turn everything around for me!

These are the people I focus on and thank God I have them in my life.  I can't rely on just my husband, daughter and sister for everything in my life.  They would fill that role for me if I needed them to, but it's better to expand my circle of trust as much as I can.  To any of you also dealing with FTD, don't be afraid to let someone in. Yes, they may end up letting you down, but  it's worth the risk... and you can always kick them back out of the circle.  Relationships can be fluid, changing as they go.  Unfortunately some dry up and go away, but there's always another one out there if you take a chance on them.