I started off my blog entry last week by saying that I absolutely love Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I still do but have realized how much it exhausts me.
I was determined to cut back on how many cookies I make. Only problem is that every time I tell someone which ones I am skipping, I get an "Ahhhh... but I love those!" My daughter is the good one though. Her comment is "Ahhh... but I love those. Why don't you wait until I get there and we can make them together?" Got to love that kid! My "kid" is 36 years old, but will always be my kid. All you parents and kids will understand and forgive me for calling her my kid.
I did stick to my guns and have not given in to making the ones that take me three days to make. Other than that, I am sure you guessed by now, they are all done. I did cut back on the number of batches I made of each. Several kinds I only made (gasp!) a single batch.
The kitchen is pretty much back to normal. Just one batch is sitting on drying racks for the frosting to dry enough to put in tins. You have to have cutout sugar cookies with frosting and decorations, don't you? They are all trees... if you cut back on how many shapes you make, that counts as cutting back, right?
I know it doesn't and I know I was a sucker in a few cases. There is a reason for this and is the same reason I had last year. With FTD, I don't know if I will be able to make cookies at all next year. It is important to me to keep my favorite holiday traditions, especially for my favorite holiday. I need to be with friends and family and make it as traditional as possible. You won't see many outdoor decorations at our house, but you will see the tree shining through the front picture window.
I have mentioned many times how valuable my psychologist is to me. She has specialized in dementia for much of her career, so she is full of suggestions on more than how to cope. A while back, she suggested I put my recipes behind plastic (which they already are) and check off each ingredient as I go. I had tried this previously, but I would still lose track of how many cups of flour and/or sugar I had added. She suggested I get a 4-cup or so measuring cup and dump the flour and sugar in there before adding to the dough. She DOES know a thing or two about coping with dementia. This has worked out really well. I did not have to through out a single batch of dough this time.
A couple evenings ago, my daughter and I were chatting over the phone. I mentioned that I still had to clean the house. This sweet girl told me not to worry about it, that it will be just her staying with us. Then I remembered someone telling me, not too long ago, that if it seems like anyone is offended that there is some extra dust lying around, I should hand them a dust cloth. I won't go that far, but I am not going to stress about it. I will settle for a quick dust with my duster and a quick sweep with my Swiffer mop. I need a couple "down" days to get ready.
My daughter arrives on Tuesday and will be here for an entire week. She and I will cram in as many of our favorite mother/daughter things that we can. It will definitely not involve cleaning the house. The week will fly by, I know, but we will treasure every second of the week. She is just as aware as I am that we don't know if this year will be the last year we can do all our traditions. We will overindulge in the hot buttered rum on Christmas Eve and the mimosas during brunch on Christmas morning. These are about the only days I drink alcohol, so I figure it won't hurt to indulge. Well, maybe I will only have one mimosa, heavy on the juice, so I will be able to cook dinner later in the day!
We will be getting together with family and friends. To all of them who read this, please bear in mind that I will be celebrating Christmas but might appear a bit melancholy from time to time. I cannot help but have some quiet moments when I reflect back on all our Christmases and think about what is to come. If you see me looking like that is what I am doing and I look a bit sad, hugs are always appreciated. I cannot go into details, because she may read this before Christmas, but I have an extremely special gift for my daughter. It took me a lot of time and energy but with all the love that was involved, it never seemed to tire me. I think she will cry when she opens it. I know I will!
I doubt that I will be blogging while my daughter is here and we are spending time with friends and family. Because of that, I will take the time to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. To my Jewish friends, Happy Hanukkah. If I have missed anyone else's holiday, I wish you love and peace. To all of you, a very Happy New Year!
If you are feeling generous this season, please consider the best gift you can give to me and everyone else with FTD. That would be a monetary contribution to the AFTD (Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration). They are great advocates for research and awareness of the disease. They also do as much as they can for those of us with the disease and they even include those of us with FTD in their annual conference. This allows us to stay up to date on research and information on the disease. Their website is http://www.theaftd.org/
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