Pets

Just the word "pet" conjures up soothing and calming thoughts, at least to me. Other things I think of are fun, playful and great company. The downside is I also think of walking, cleaning up poop and cleaning a litter box.

I am thinking of this today because a three friends lost their beloved pets this week. What can you say to them except that you understand, that you love them and, if you believe, will pray for them. Losing a pet leaves a huge void in a person's life. Anyone who is lucky enough to have a loving pet will understand my friends' grief. I still miss my loving cat, Schnookers even though it has been almost five years since we lost him. I still see him sometimes out of the corner of my eye. I still feel him jump up on my bed to snuggle.

I have had quite a few pets in my life, especially when my daughter was growing up. She brought home everything from a sugar glider to a corn snake. She had no fear of any creature. The only time I rejected one of her pets, it was a ferret. We discovered, very quickly, that I am highly allergic to ferrets.

Not counting her pets, I grew up with a dog and a couple cats. After leaving home, we almost always had a cat in our life. Schnookers, though, was special to me. I went through a fight with cancer, Hodgkin's Lymphoma about eight years ago. The battle lasted about six months and I won.  During the treatments, I was sick a lot. My body did everything it could to get rid of the chemo and radiation. That cat was beside me the entire way. If I was lying in bed, he was lying there with me, with his head on the pillow next to mine. If I was kneeling over the toilet, he was sitting there with me. Even though, at that time, I was not the one caring for him, he chose to stay with me and offer comfort.

That's what our pets do for us. I always say that our pets are truly the ones who offer us unconditional love. When I was still working, when I came home after a particularly tough day, sitting down, reading the paper or having a cup of tea and he would settle on my lap, demanding nothing in return.

I even know of some people with FTD who have service dogs. They do anything from comforting, to helping with balance issues and, in one case, pulling a wheelchair. These animals go a step beyond... being a pet and a working dog. I can only imagine how close the two become.

As much as I crave the companionship, I will never have another pet. My beloved Schnookers was showing signs of being ill. After he died, a few people reminded me that the had mentioned that they had told me this. Thanks to FTD, it didn't truly register what they were saying. One said, "He is so thin." His breed of cat tends to be long and lean, so I thought it was a complement. I don't know what I thought the other times, but no one said that he looked sick and I should take him to the veterinarian. Not much room for subtlety for me.

I believe I let him down. If it had registered in my brain what the others were saying, if I had noticed myself how thin he was getting and taken him to the vet when it first started, maybe he could have been cured. I will never, ever, take on that responsibility on myself again.

I know how much comfort they can be and I have often mentioned to others that they consider a pet, but only if they are capable of providing the care the pet needs. I know that if he were still here with me, Schnookers would be an excellent caregiver for me. Wishful thinking, but I know he is happy that this week he gained a few friends in heaven.