Sunday, January 3, 2016

I Can Still Be Me

I had such a wonderful time New Year's Eve. No, I wasn't exactly out partying until the wee hours of the morning. My husband and I did, however, meet for an early dinner with a couple whom we had not visited with in quite some time. It ended up being a late dinner too, we were there for over two hours, just chatting and getting caught up. They are both right around our daughter's age, so you might not pick this as a great friendship, but it is.

They have  helped us out a few times when we needed muscle and brawn and we have helped them out a few times when they didn't need muscle or brawn. Perhaps we settled into being friends with them so easily because they filled part of the void created when our daughter moved out of state.
It doesn't matter why, all that matters is that we are solid friends. We don't see them as often as we used to for two reasons, the first being that they moved about 45 min. away and the second is that I am reluctant to socialize.

This reluctance to socialize boils down to things I have vented about many times on this blog. Primarily, it is because so many people don't want to be bothered with me anymore. I don't know if it is their fear that I might embarrass them in public (easily remedied by visiting me at home) or that it is difficult to carry on a conversation with me because of my speech difficulties. I truly do not know whatever else it could be. So, I am avoided by people I considered close friends. Some that hurt the worst was friends from church, several who have been downright rude to me. Somehow, I think we all expect our Christian friends to be a little more charitable with their patience and understanding. But I have gone off on this subject enough times and don't need to dwell on it now.

The four of us talked non-stop the whole time. In fact, I talked so much I only ate a quarter of my meal. When I had speech problems, they patiently waited, knowing I would get it out sooner rather than later. Yes, we discussed my FTD, but we talked about so many different topics. They have a lot of interesting things going on in their lives right now as well. It was just an awesome feeling to be accepted!

Why am I going on about this one evening? Simply because I was so comfortable. The restaurant was crowded and noisy and it did not bother me at all. It did help some that we got seated in a booth in a back corner of the restaurant where it was a little less hectic and noisy. The one thing, though, that helped the most was that I felt accepted for who I am, not rejected because of what disease I have. I cannot possible express how wonderful I felt during and after our visit. I felt like I was "me" for a couple hours.

To top it all off, they posted on Facebook about what a wonderful time they had as well. I think it would amaze some people how normal I can be if they just overlook the disease. I am still in there if they only take the time to look past the disease!

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