This has been a stressful week. Following up from last week's blog, smart phones should come with a warning: "Someone with FTD who was still using a 20+ year-old Motorola Flip Phone should use caution when operating this phone."
I can answer calls. At least I think I can. No one has the number so no one has called. I can access my email and Facebook. Better yet, I can download and play games. I have been spending 2-3 hours every day trying to get familiar with the darned thing. I compare my efforts to learning how to operate a computer after only using an abacus. To those of you not old enough to have been taught how to use an abacus, don't worry about it. To younger folks, they most likely resemble a baby toy. I do not think the skill is taught any longer. They could make a quite interesting display item.
So, after a week of trying to use this modern device, I am fairly convinced that with some additional tutoring from my daughter who understands FTD and smart phones, I will eventually get there. I do hope, though, that I do not become a phone addict like most of civilization. I have enough trouble walking, I don't need to be looking down at the same time.
Then comes today. I open up my blog only to be told that Google+ has been eliminated and it may affect my blog. Of course, the "information", and I use that term loosely, is in jargon that leaves me saying "What the hell? Who wrote these instructions?"
I followed the directions to back up the blog so I would not lose all my previous entries. The intention was all well and good, except that when I open the file, it is all gibberish. All these letters, numbers and symbols are my blog archives? How do I turn it back into what I have written? I have to trust that somehow it will work. Otherwise, sorry, but everything written before now will be gone.
Yes, I have a headache now. When I remember how I used to be able to get a computer to jump up and dance, I just want to cry. I created a billing system within a software package that did not include one, a proud moment. I created an inventory system using just a couple Excel spreadsheets. Yes, it was simplistic, but it worked for what we needed. So, thanks FTD, I feel like a bumbling idiot who is futilely trying to do something that used to be second nature.
I guess both of these examples fall well within my latest vow to myself. The vow was to stop expecting do everything or even be able to. Just because I could do it all before FTD, I must admit that I just cannot any longer. Beyond that, the goal is to learn that the world does not depend on my abilities and actions alone. I kind of took up the mantle from a family member who always did everything she could to help others until she was forced to slow down from dementia. I am allowed to slow down a bit as well.
I am not saying that someone with FTD has to stop doing everything. I think we should keep active. I think we should keep trying to do things we used to. I also think we should try new things. We may not succeed, but I still think it is important to keep trying.
For an example, I used to be an artist of sorts. I won local and national awards for my work in ceramics. I did a lot of tole painting, along with just about every other kind of painting. Since FTD, I cannot paint a thing. I recently attempted once again, thinking that maybe it was just "a phase." Nope, couldn't do it! I am in awe of the many people with FTD who have discovered new talents or realized they could still do what they did before. Some of the artistry that many of my FTD friends produce is phenomenal. I figure I had my turn at being creative, now it is time for others to step into their creativity. It's my new task to sit back and enjoy their creations while still doing all that I can.
How many times have we been told (I know I have repeated it often enough) that every case of FTD is different? I am so happy that I still have the ability to write and speak. What it all comes down to, I believe, is that we should stay active, stay creative or use any of our other talents.
The other day, someone asked me how I manage to always have a smile on my face. (Not true, but much more often than not.) I answered that just because I have a life-ending disease, my life doesn't have to end now.
Today, my smiles are because AFTD's Educational Conference is only 3 1/2 weeks away! I hope to see all of you in Los Angeles!
1 comment:
As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from Dementia, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
My husband suffered Dementia and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from Dementia, and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who had the herbal cure to Dementia. I never imagined Dementia has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.Dementia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony .
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