In This Together

I truly had no intention of writing a blog today. I felt much too exhausted and could not come up with anything that interested me enough to write about. 

To the first part of that statement, my husband's Alzheimer's Disease has taken another turn for the worse. He has been so confused. He can no longer operate the remote control for the Dish network. He was never really good at it, but he seems to just keep pushing buttons out of frustration when he cannot find what he wants. He has found some screens and options deep down in the system that I had never seen before. Some have not been easy to get out of for him. Now, we have come up with a solution that I pull up a program for him from the DVR and he watches it to the end instead of switching between different recordings at his whim. Now, isn't that what being a caregiver is about? Instead of griping about what he is doing, it is so much easier and makes life much happier if we work out a solution to the problem.

Another example is that In addition to having more difficulty doing things, he is forgetting more and more. It breaks my heart every time he asks me what my name is. This morning, he asked me if I was the one who last night solved our problem with the television. No matter how many times I tell him that he and I are the only ones in the house, he still seems to think there are more. He also questions if it is our house and if we live there. We have come up with a solution to the name issue for now. I told him how he used to call me "Kid" early in our marriage because he was ten years older. So far, he gets a big smile on his face when he remembers and calls me "Kid."  He also repeatedly wants to compare our wedding rings to assure himself that we are married. He is amazed every time I say that we have been married for 47 years. He does this a LOT, but it does not bother me. I find it sweet. I may have talked about some of this in prior blogs and apologize if I am repeating.

Yes, I realize this blog is about FTD, not Alzheimer's Disease, but it is pretty difficult for me to separate the two just as it is now difficult to separate my role of caregiver from one dealing with FTD. Both are exhausting. I have been getting up more often through the night to check on him which worsens the fatigue I usually feel from my FTD. I do hope that some of my experiences of being his caregiver can provide help to those who are caring for someone with FTD. While the two diseases are quite different, the problems they create are often the very same. 

This morning, while eating my breakfast, I had an episode of swallowing difficulty and started choking. He jumped up, filled a glass of water and brought it to me and fussed over me until I could assure him enough that I was okay. He even cleaned up the mess I made from coughing up the food. To me, that is a show of true love. 

Now, to the second part of my opening paragraph. Being so tired, nothing had inspired me as a subject for writing today. I was not up to doing any necessary research if I was going to write anything informative about the disease or the symptoms it causes. I was just sitting at the computer, scrolling through the few support groups that I participate in. Unfortunately, I stumbled across a post from the writer of a blog who was criticizing another blogger and the contents of the other's blog itself.

You know, we are all in this together. Those with FTD, those who care for someone with FTD or just those who love someone who has the disease and wants to learn more. In my opinion, blogs are like t.v. shows or movies. If you begin one and it doesn't interest you, stop watching or stop reading the blog. I am sure no one enjoys every one of my blogs and that often times they disagree with what I am saying.

That is the good thing about a blog. It is someone's view on an issue and, often, relaying their experience with the issue. The interpretation of information provided can vary as well. Bottom line, we are all different, have different beliefs and see things differently. If you don't like someone's blog, including my own, stop reading it. Hopefully though, with mine anyway, you will come back to the next one to see if it is of more interest to you.

Personally, my FTD often makes it difficult for me to follow some blogs. I get confused enough with my own! When the writer is particularly verbose (that's a pretty good word for someone with FTD to come up with) or is overly dramatic, I am lost. I prefer reading things that are right to the point or, sometimes even, slap me right upside the head to the point that I say "Why didn't I think of that." To me, writing a blog, is not an exercise in creative writing. 

If you ever question something I say in a blog or disagree with me, please feel free to comment. That is a wonderful way to learn and to see things from a different angle. But to see one blogger ripping apart another just does not seem right to me. This is especially true when it is one blogger ripping apart another. It comes across to me as "Nah, nah, nah, nah. My blog's better than your blog."  No such thing. Everyone's blog is personal and if they were all the same, who would read them?

Okay, I will climb off my soapbox. The last thing I will say on the subject is that like any other piece of work, a blog is individual and is full of opinions and subjective information. It is fine to disagree with the words or opinions expressed, but it is never okay to verbally assault the writer. I must also explain, that this is not personal and I was not one of the bloggers involved in the incident that upset me enough to write about it.

As I said, we are all in this together and I think we should be supportive of each other, even if we disagree from time to time. Kind of like a family...