My New Social Life

One day last week, someone asked me why I choose to rely on the Senior Van service to go to medical appointments and even grocery shopping. I threw out all the stock answers: it costs less than driving a car (even if I still had that privilege), they show up in any weather, they give door to door service, they carry my groceries into the house, etc.  This answer didn't seem to satisfy the person asking. I actually stopped and thought about it and said "because it is my social life."

Now, before you start feeling sorry for me and thinking how pathetic it sounds, don't. I have yet to have a driver who was not friendly, helpful and just downright nice. I often have the van to myself, but when there are other riders, we are all in the same boat. Once in a while, a passenger will be grumpy or rude. When that happens, I take it as a challenge. I must say, even if it sounds like bragging, by time I get off or the other passenger does, I have them laughing or at least smiling.

A good example of this happened this week. When I got onto the van at a doctor's office, another woman had already been picked up. She started griping when she thought the driver was going the wrong way. He told her we had one more to pick up. She started complaining that her home was just a couple blocks away so we should go there first. Turned out that her home was much further away than a couple blocks and the woman we were picking up lives in the same apartment complex. I started chatting with her and discovered that we had both lived in the Philadelphia area and we started talking about places and things we had in common there. By time she got off the van, she was laughing and said she hoped we got to ride together again.

My mother always said that if I didn't have anyone to talk to, I would talk to a brick wall. While that might be part of it, it's not the total picture. 

I am trapped in my home most of the time. Between my FTD causing me to not want to venture out and needing to care for my husband with the limitations his Alzheimer's Disease brings, home is where I usually belong. This is not a complaint, just a simple fact. While I do talk to people on the phone most every day, there is very little conversation in our home because my husband is usually sleeping or just unable to converse. That is a big part of why I like riding the van a couple times a week. I get to meet new people and visit the "real" world. 

Unfortunately, dementia isolates us. Not only because we frequently don't care to venture out because of the risk of sensory overload, but because others isolate us as well. I don't remember how many times I have mentioned in my blogs about how family and friends practically run away screaming once they learn of a diagnosis of dementia. I don't believe they are thoughtless or rude, they just don't know how to deal with it. I refer them to 
as ostriches because they must think if they stay away (or bury their head in the sand) the dementia doesn't exist and those of us with the disease are still the way we used to be.

If I hear one more person say, "But, I just want to remember them the way they were. It just makes me sad to see them this way."  I will probably give them a huge piece of my mind. I just want to say "I wish those of us with dementia could do that too, remember you the way you used to be because you used to be kind and loving." Most of us don't even welcome long visits, just a short visit to let us know we still exist and you still care. Maybe bring us some cookies, we can never get enough of those!

Just about all the people I meet on the Senior Van are not judgmental. Most all of us have a limitation or two and we are quick to help each other out. The drivers are mostly people who have retired early and are just out to keep busy because I know they don't get paid very well. The day last week when I visited that doctor's office? I had been dropped off at radiology. When it turned out to be the same driver who picked me up, he asked if everything went okay. He said, "You're smiling so you must have gotten good news?" I had been there for further testing because of questionable results during a prior test. The radiologist met with me and assured me it was a false positive and that all was well and I was thrilled to be able to share my good news.

When I say that riding the Senior Van is my social life, it is indeed a good thing. It is just the right amount of time to visit with someone before I get sensory overload. I love making the others smile because it makes me smile as well.  So, if you live here in Blair County in beautiful Central Pennsylvania, maybe I'll see you on the van!











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