At least once each day, I catch myself struggling to figure out how to do something. Today, it was opening our front door from the outside. It is a handle where you have the thumb latch that you push down and just push. Couldn't figure it out, took me about five tries of different combinations of things. God bless my husband! He stood behind me and allowed me to figure it out and never said a word.
Yesterday was a little worse. My husband handles my pill organization for me and fills my pill containers for the week. There is one organizer for morning and one for night. We have a system of shuffling them around that works for us. That is, it did until yesterday. When I was preparing for bed, the night time organizer for that day was empty. Uh-oh! I had bathed earlier in the evening that day instead of closer to bedtime. I think I must have taken them after I bathed. The one medication makes me very sleepy and I did remember being sleepy earlier in the evening. Usually the worst thing I do is forget to put in my glaucoma drops, but he usually catches it and reminds me. Now, he is going to be even more fussy about whether and when I take them which will drive me crazy.
If I continue to mess up taking the pills, I guess we'll have to get one of those programmable boxes that work on a timer. You can't open them until the correct time that was set. One more thing to make life more complicated.
The biggest frustration of this week, more likely of this decade, was in an email from my daughter. She lives in a large city in NC, we live in a small town in PA. We have been trying to convince my husband to move us down there to be nearer to her so she can help care for me. He refuses to do it, won't even discuss it. He doesn't take to change very well anymore. I made a list of pros and cons and gave it to him because sometimes he grasps things easier when it is in writing. Still won't talk about it. So, one evening this week, I received "the" email... she said she has come to the horrid (my word,not hers) realization that if he won't move us down there, she will have to quit her job and move back up here. Nearly broke my heart. There is nothing for her here, that is why she moved to NC in the first place.
I really, really, really don't want for her to do it. I don't want her to give up her life to become my 24/7 caregiver. The members of a support group I am in all say that I should allow her to do it, That after I am gone, she will most likely appreciate that she did all that she could. That makes sense to me IF we would move down there. I think I could accept that, allowing her to move in with us and providing care for me. That way, she would still have her job and friends surrounding her. All caregivers deserve to have a support system around them to keep them grounded and sane. It allows them to better preserve their own health, physical and mental. What good is the caretaker if she is worn out all the time? My biggest fear is that if she moves back up here and becomes my 24/7 caregiver that she will come to resent me. I could not handle that!
I have a feeling this frustration is going to be a long one. I will keep trying to convince my husband that it would be a good idea to move as that truly seems to be the best solution. Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment