Feeling Better

I have not felt like posting for a while. I suspect it is related to my last post which was about cabin fever. I should still be suffering from that since it is below zero and expecting yet more snow. My husband went out last night and cleared the drive in the minus zero conditions. He also keeps about half of the deck cleared of snow so that when I look out the sliding doors from where I sit, I don't have to see all snow.  This was his idea two or three years ago and he continues to do it. God bless him.

God bless him in all ways, but especially the past few days. I always hated Valentine's Day because he never got into it, would give me a lovely card and that's it. I would cook him a wonderful meal that day, which was usually filet steaks that I would splurge on and would bake him a favorite dessert. This was the absolute best I could do for the last five years since not being able to drive.  BUT, this year he got it!  He took me out to dinner. We opted to go out on the 13th because, like most with FTD, crowds, confusion and a cacophony of sounds do me in pretty quickly. We got dressed up and went out. It was like a date and we haven't done that in a long time. We usually go to restaurants where no one would think twice if you came in wearing your work clothes, so this was a treat.  Plus, I got a gift... and a nice card. And you can probably guess what I'm going to say now. On the 14th, I still cooked his filet dinner and baked and decorated valentine cookies. Just seemed right.

Not only did that get me out somewhere special to break out of the cabin fever, but it made me feel like I am still appreciated. I hesitate to speak for everyone with FTD, but we have so many limitations and often feel useless, at least I do. So anytime I receive a compliment or am made to feel loved and appreciated, it greatly improves my attitude and approach to dealing with this stupid disease.

An interesting thing happened this past week. I think all of you, those with FTD and all who care for them, had a difficult time getting an accurate diagnosis. This week, I went in for my 6-month checkup with my family doc. She is the one I have raved about before as she refused to accept the diagnosis of depression that the local neurologists game me. After we had gone over my blood work and petty little conditions she keeps track of, like my B12 level and thyroid level, she sat back down and wheeled her little stool closer and said "Now tell me about your FTD and how it is going." So we talked for at least 15 minutes (pity the next patient waiting).  Then, she actually apologized for not knowing much about FTD! I said two things to her. First, I told her that she is a GP and is not expected to know all about everything, that's what the specialists are for. Then, I laughed and said "Besides, most neurologists don't know anything about it either."  Ain't it the truth???

Another development since my last post is that I have finally given in and am actually using my cane/walking stick unless I know I have someone to hang on to the whole time. The stupid legs just won't cooperate anymore. The legs giving out or not reacting to the brain impulses causes a lot of staggering. I'm sure a lot of people who see me out are thinking that I am drunk. So my grandpap's walking stick that my dad made for him is getting another good workout. It's nice to be able to use this heirloom!

Hope you all are keeping warm!

Cabin Fever

The biggest thing I am dealing with right now is cabin fever. It seems like it has snowed every day for the past couple weeks and the weather and roads are just bad enough to not justify going out for leisure. Since I can no longer handle grocery shopping, I don't even get to go there (thankfully for me and the other shoppers). It seems like my entire social life lately has been going every two weeks to the chiropractor and to get a B-12 shot.  It has been too cold to even want to venture outside. My husband is kind enough to keep part of the deck cleared of snow so that I can at least step out if I want to and so I can feed and watch the squirrels and birds, but that only entertains for so long.

We did venture out the other day to go check on  my sister when I could not reach her on the phone. We check in with each other every day to make sure we are okay. She lives alone, so when I couldn't reach her that day, we drove to her place to make sure she was okay. She was fine, just hadn't charged her phone. While we were out, my husband took me to the Hallmark store, one of my favorite places to shop because the women who work there are so nice and lots of fun. Then we stopped at my favorite Greek diner for lunch. Again, a fun place to go and a fantastic place to eat.

We now know that it is worth making the effort to get out more often, even though I am a horrible back seat driver. I know I wouldn't want to be driving me around. I panic a lot over silly nothings. This simple trip brightened my spirits immensely. Especially with the piece of baklava that the waitress made me take home... it was soooo yummy!  I had given her a little gift at Christmas, so she wanted to repay the favor. She also sent me off with a bowl of my favorite soup so I would have it for supper. I should give her gifts more often!

So, to all of you with FTD and to all of you caregivers, if at all possible, make those little trips to brighten the mood a little. Obviously, once you start reaching the later stages this advice would not apply, but in the meantime, make time to have some fun, even if it is an effort!

It is supposed to snow up to a foot again tonight, so I guess I will be trapped inside again for at least a few days this week.  At least the days are getting just a tiny bit longer each day so we get to see the sun a couple minutes longer, at least on the days we can see the sun.  Tomorrow that darned groundhog will probably predict six more weeks of winter. Hate that little varmint! Actually, those of you who don't live near Punxsutawney PA might not know about Punxsutawney Phil and his annual prediction. If not, watch the movie Groundhog Day sometime for a pretty good laugh. Just the right entertainment if you are stuck inside with cabin fever!