There is an old joke that if you are in Pennsylvania and you don't like the weather, just wait ten minutes. It is not quite that bad, but our weather can indeed be unpredictable. We had three days of unusual temperatures over 90 degrees this week. We are not used to August weather in May! Now, today, it is down into the 50's with lower humidity.
This week, my days with FTD were just as unpredictable as Pennsylvania weather. The first two days of the heat wave, I did not have any energy or ambition. My head hurt with its usual FTD headache and I wanted to just sit and do what a do a lot of days, accomplishing absolutely nothing. Well, if you consider sitting on the couch looking out at nothing as something, then I do accomplish something. For once, my brain told me that it was stupid to do that because I know that if I was able to get something done, even if it was a small thing, I would feel better. My head would still hurt, but since it wasn't as bad as they sometimes are, I decided I could do it.
The first day, I had my husband take me out to buy some herbs and flowers, along with some potting soil. When we got back, I went out to the deck and planted them all in planters and pleaded to the chipmunk gods that they would not eat them all this year. I hid the basil from them because they seem to eat that the quickest. For three years now, knock on wood, they have not found it growing on the front porch. It didn't take long, an hour and a half including the trip to get everything. That was a good day and the deck was starting to look better. It was a good choice of things to do, it just seemed right on a beautiful "summer" day.
The next day, my friend drug me to a meeting of our church's women's group. It was an interesting program and I got to see a lot of women I had not seen for a while. It also did my heart good that they seemed to be sincerely happy to see me! When she brought me home, I was worn out. Socializing can can be exhausting to someone with FTD, especially in crowded and/or noisy surroundings. I was happy that I had made it through and had a good time.
When I arrived, my husband was just going out to dig up a couple small bushes I wanted gone. I decided to go out and keep him company, but then started cleaning out all the dying daffodil and tulip leaves from the flower beds. I ended up with a barrel full of them, but it was a much easier task than it sounds because they snapped right off. The sun had gone under some clouds and a soft breeze was blowing which made it almost enjoyable. I was back inside in less than an hour.
By taking my own advice and accomplishing something both of those days did bring me out of my funk and, thankfully, my FTD headache was easing a bit, So I decided I could do something again on what was the third day of the heatwave. I usually keep a squeeze bottle of balsamic glaze in my refrigerator. It is simple to make. I just pour in a bunch of (yes, this is an acceptable exact measurement) balsamic vinegar and a bit of sugar or agave syrup into a saucepan and simmer it until it reduces by about a half. I usually test its readiness by putting a drop on the cool countertop to see if it spreads or remains a bead. My FTD brain told me that since I am having to wipe the counter so often, just put that drop into the palm of my hand. What made sense to my FTD brain was downright stupid. Who would put syrup that had been boiling for a couple hours onto their skin?
I survived the burn with just a tiny blister, the syrup was ready and I poured it into a squeeze bottle. FTD brain says, "Give it a shake." Not a good idea at all. The hot syrup softened the plastic enough that some splashed out from under the cap, all over the wall, counter, everything on the counter and my shirt. As soon as I got all that cleaned up, I shoved that bottle right into the frig to stay. Good news is that a bottle usually lasts me six months so I should be safe for a while.
I had a little lunch and still had some energy. I went out onto the deck, armed with cleaning supplies and tackled cleaning the deck furniture. It was going well, I was getting soaked but it felt good since it was so hot. I had quite a few pieces scrubbed and placed where I wanted them, then started to tackle a pair of chairs that were really dirty. The dirt resisted even the soapy scrub brush, so I decided to use some full-strength cleaner. It worked pretty well, but the old FTD brain did not stop to think that I should recap the bottle. I knocked over and spilled half a bottle of Mr. Clean. I should have hosed it off, I know, but I didn't and I quickly slipped and fell. I imagine that it would have looked like slapstick comedy if anyone had seen. I wasn't hurt, probably just had a few new bruises but that seems to be the case everyday.
After that, I decided I had better not try anything else. Plus, doing just these two tasks had me exhausted. Have I mentioned lately how much FTD sucks? I went back into the house, sat down and stared out the window. At least this time, I had clean furniture to look at! I should also thank God for my husband. Come dinnertime, he suggested the leftover, cold tortellini salad from the refrigerator so I was safe from any more burns.
Today, our weather has changed again. The temperature is in the low 50's and the humidity is down from what it was as well.
Just like the weather, FTD can be totally unpredictable. We can go along for months and then it will suddenly take a down turn. I can be speaking very clearly for an entire day, yet the next day not be able to get words out without getting stuck on the first syllable until my brain realizes what is happening and I stop and start over. I can have good mobility for days, then all of a sudden my limbs stop getting the messages from my brain and I will end up standing with one foot up in the air until I focus hard or take my hand and give the leg a push. Some days, I can have a positive frame of mind and get some things done. Other days, it is back to the sofa and staring out the window. Unpredictable indeed!
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